Posts tagged my period

So last night I was commenting about how my period is late by like 2-4 days. Which is weird.

Then today it was like, “Hey girl hey! I heard you talking about me, so here I am with a vengeance and fury unheard of in western civilization! Miss me?”*troll face*

I could sit here and eat all of the ice cream but I’d be crying later because I hate myself for sitting here and eating all of the ice cream. How much do I want a visit from the self loathing fairy tonight vs the desire to consume all of the ice cream? these are the questions of life.

On another note, it’s 6:40pm and I am ready to go to bed. I am that tired.

I am sad so here are some cats

wait what thats not even a cat it’s Cato from THG. okay then.

well thats everything in my reaction folder of or relating to cats

enjoy

I am filled with anger and suddenly sad and I don’t know why. My uterus is contracting like that’s it’s main directive and I’m bleeding like a stabbed pig. How is it healthful to bleed like this once a month? this fucking shit aint logical

seriously I feel like I should take an iron supplement immediately

I want a tuna sandwich more than I have ever wanted anything in my life

I’m tired. I’m so tired. And for no reason.

I hate everything but at the same time I want some hugs and I could go for maybe a nice cuddle under a blanket. But I don’t want to talk at all ever.

Last night I dreamt that my mom kept kicking me in the crotch. And I was like, “Mom, why would you do that don’t you know I am on my period?” and she just kept crotch-chopping me with her bare foot like a fucking ninja.

(I have issues.)

Anyway, I woke up experiencing some of the worst cramps I’ve ever had.

Vagina, I give you hair cuts, massages. I wash you, anoint you with lotions and fragrance. I pamper you, dress you in satin and lace. You repay me by bleeding for 5 days every month. This is an abusive relationship, it’s worse than the one I am in with the asshole. 

my 4 year old is sick, I was cleaning a puddle of puke

and then when it was least considerate

less than five minutes later

It’s like, are you for real? is this happening right now? because frankly I am incredulous. how could you do this to me vagina, I thought we were friends.

AND I WOULD KICK A PUPPY FOR A CUPCAKE 

I wish I was exaggerating

Right now I am so emotionally tender, I am sensitive for no reason and to everything.  

and I am in the worst mood I have ever been in IN MY LIFE

I went to bed about midnight, woke up being puked upon at around 2:20am. Around 6 I laid down for another couple hours with a wiggly toddler using me for a pillow and insisting on holding hands. both hands.

at that point if he had insisted I do satanic rights before allowing me to sleep I would have simply went in search of a sacrifice. 

I feel like that should read: “I read somewhere that their periods turn them into bears. bleeding bears.”

AND I WANT TO END THIS POST WITH THIS

even though it doesn’t particularly make sense

thank you happy birthday